This has been a weird season. For everyone.
Things I never thought could or would happen, are happening.
Even things that I thought were stable in my life, have changed.
I love to dance. I’ve loved it since I started taking lessons at age 8. Music and movement have always been a part of me. It filled my cup. I’ve danced, or coached, or taught different types of dance classes over the years, and then 2 years ago was blessed to join a new ballet ministry at my church. Harmony Dance.
I love that we taught classic ballet, and that we also taught the girls about Jesus. We did devotionals and talked about respecting and caring for their bodies. We did outreach events. It was a blessing to be a part of. Then cancer. And while I’m healing really well, an area I never anticipated was that I’d be over medicated (because my body is doing so well) and it would lead to some crazy symptoms- including serious joint pain. I’ve had my dose lowered, yet it takes 6 weeks+ to fully kick in. If it needs to be lowered more, I’m looking at another 6+ weeks. Joint pain for a ballet teacher of 7 year-olds who needs to be able to sit and stand and just move, is major issue. I wrestled with the idea that I may have to let this go. Even though it filled my cup.
With a pit in my stomach, I told the director I needed to step down. I could barely even believe I was doing it. It had become part of my identity.
I taught ballet.
She was gracious and kind, as I knew she would be.
I know God has a plan for me. Maybe it’s some other form of ministry. Maybe it’s ministry within my four walls (I guess that one goes without saying). I have 2 small people under my roof who need to be ministered to.
Yet what about me? A dear friend reminded me that in order to truly give to others, we must first fill our cup. I think as moms, we can often forget this. We give and we give. And we are drained.
Ironically, my sweet redheaded girl Maggie is now old enough and ready to be involved in Harmony. And you better believe I’ll be signing her up. She often talks of being a ballerina. Maybe that’s to help me still feel connected to it all. I don’t know.
So, I will find something new to fill my cup in this season. I know God has a plan for me. And one for you, too.
Embrace Life
