Surgery is an odd thing.

But don’t get me wrong. The ability to do what is done is an absolute miracle.

Yet, the ability of one person to have instruments or hands inside another person to enhance, remove, modify or replace something internal on another, is odd.

Knowing it has personally been done to you, even if it saves you, is odd. To know that a part of me has been removed, is a strange thing to ponder.

I’ve been told to rest. To get healthy. And as far as my surgical recovery, I am absolutely doing this.

Yet a word of advice to those who have had major surgery: give grace to those around you. Grace to those who talk or act like they “know”. They mean well. They mean well when they give thoughts on getting rest, on getting movement, on medicines now found on the counter. But they don’t know. Even if medically trained, unless they’ve experienced a similar surgery, they don’t know. And can’t be expected to. So smile, and give them grace.

If you are a fellow mama who has had surgery, take heart. You were (hopefully) not “alone” before, and you aren’t alone now. Although to lack the ability to function as you did just days prior, is a lot to deal with. Let your village come around you. Even if it is hard. Let them see your bandages, your scars, your dirty or cluttered house. Let them take your kids to play with theirs. And give grace to yourself as well. This is a journey, not a race.

To those who haven’t experienced a surgery, know that it’s a long game, so to speak. Check on your friend over a few weeks time. Many check in the first few days or week. But from personal experience I know that one week out, while “long” to the busy world around, is still far from the end. Lots of appointments for medicine or PT, not being able to drive, having kids or a household still needing to function, the list goes on. Help over time will be appreciated.

Contact them. If you contacted them before, contact them now. If they can’t or don’t feel well enough to text back, they won’t. But messages can sure brighten a mood. And most have a texting finger that still works. And tell them if you’d like to help. Then tell them how (food, kids, etc.). Give them a choice of days to come by with said help. I found this so helpful. It’s so kind to say a general, “I’d love to help”, but I know that I have a hard time saying- yes, please help me, in this way, on this day. If your friend really doesn’t want your help, they will tell you, or ask that you wait a bit.

Personally, here’s where I’m at. I have the most amazing family & community that has come alongside me to help navigate this journey. For this, I am eternally grateful. Physically, I am the most exercised, well fed, label conscious, toxin free version of myself that I have ever been. And although God chose 2020 to reveal & remove the cancer from my body, the tumor itself had been there for years, and my body had still been strong, with no known symptoms.

And I will continue to take care of my body (and those of my family); it’s the least I can do and have been so blessed. I am all the more passionate about this now, and encourage you to do the same with the amazing body God has given to you.

Mama might be down for now, but I’ll be back.

Embrace Life