“He (or She) is a fiery redhead.”  I had heard the phrase a million times. Kind of chuckled at it even. Well, as my husband says, “Laugh it up, Chuckles.” The joke is clearly on me. I think for both kids, it started around the 15 months mark. Maybe you can relate.

They are pretty mobile, but not 100%; can communicate some words, but not all; and have started expressing frustration when they can’t do things, or don’t get their way. They develop the mad cry. (Maggie actually developed this cry earlier. I’m pretty sure it was for the benefit of the nursery volunteers at our church. Sorry guys!!) It’s the “no tear, I am just mad,” cry. Both kids would bang their head against the wall or floor. Just a few times each tantrum, but to the point I asked our pediatrician when Ash started doing it, thinking something is seriously wacky with our kid!! She was like, yep, it happens, just watch he doesn’t hurt himself and get him on carpet if possible. He’s just having a tantrum. Geez!

Maggie also does this thing where she collapses forward in dismay from a seated position and bangs her head. Or flails backwards and does the same. I really have to watch that she’s on the carpet when that kind starts. Then I just let her be.

Sometimes there is just no reasoning with a small child who has a will of their own. For their safety and the safety of those around them, at times we turn to spanking, or even using “Mr. Good Choice” the wooden spoon.  Now please, no hate mail or reporting us to the authorities.

The Bible says in Proverbs 13:24

Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.

Quick side note- abuse is a very real thing. If you or someone you know is in an abuse situation, please do seek help.

In our case, our now 4 year old is infamous of getting this small grin or smirk on his face when caught doing the exact thing he was told not to do. He often even looks at us and starts to do the “no-no” in question to see how far he can get away with said restriction. Common, I’m sure, yet it really does floor me how brazen kiddos are sometimes. Maybe it’s just mine.

Back to Mr. Good Choice. I brought him out one time and Asher calmly looks at it, then at me and says, “You need a bigger spoon.”  Memaw (my mom) was there and we looked at each other and nearly busted out laughing. The joke was clearly on me. My strong willed child wasn’t going for my discipline methods at all.

All of this has shown me 3 things.

1- We are all born sinful. Yes, our precious babies. Unless you had a “let’s learn how to disobey and throw a tantrum lesson”, it’s true. We need to recognize that sinful nature in ourselves as well. God wants us to. He wanted us to come to him, admit it, and because he loves us- he wants to “fix” that in us through Jesus!!! Jesus can wash us clean. We’ll still fight that human part of us, but only through Jesus can we truly change and have hope in our eternal future. We need to teach our kids that, too.

2- Our kids are super cute (if only to us) for a reason!!! Humanity would not have survived this long if this piece was missing.

3- Redheads are extra fiery. My mom, who lives with us and sees it all, has commented more than once that Ash is a “challenge”, or Maggie is a “tough one”.  She says, “I had battles with you and your sister, but nothing like this!” Awesome.

Does your redhead get the fiery dagger eyes- as I call them?? I’m sure all kids do this, but holy cow!!

I have numerous friends with one or two redheads, as well as other kiddos with other beautiful hair colors. They have told me that, yes, their redhead gets a special “look” when they are unhappy and are generally more strong willed than their other kids. While it could be a total fluke, I find it fascinating.

On the flip side, a fiery temper, to me, indicates our red headed kiddos are filled with passion. It just needs to be directed in the right way. This can apply to all kids. Our job as parents it to keep their passion and teach them to “use it for good”. Some days this task seems daunting. Some days you say the word NO a million times. Yet I encourage you- keep at it!! Their fiery passion can change the world for the better someday.

I’ll leave you with the story behind the picture above. We were having a great time in Flagstaff with some of Brandon’s family for a little it’s almost end of summer trip. The weather was great and we could actually go to a park. Those of you outside AZ, don’t take this for granted. Our kiddos are banned from the outside for months in the summer and we all slowly go batty.

I digress. I had the great idea of getting a little family pic. Asher was not having it. He actually told us he was going to stand away from us until we were done. So there he is, pouting in the background. Homeboy pitched such a fit. And the moment we were done, the fit ended, and all was well. Future blackmail photo for sure.

I’d love to hear your fiery redhead stories!  Contact me, or let me know in the comments.

Embrace life!